Haunted
by TheEmberRaven
Summary: A harmless attempt to get Kurt to go to school without his holowatch causes his friends to discover a side of him they didn't know existed.
1. Chapter 1

**Haunted**

**Summary: **A harmless attempt to get Kurt to go to school without his holowatch causes his friends to discover a side of him they didn't know existed.

**A/N: Ok, my favorite type of writing is detail writing, and I've been skimping out on the detail in most of my pieces so they don't end up being loooong and boring. However, I'm going for the gusto on this one, so be prepared for awesome detail and length.**

**Disclaimer: The chance of me owning X-men is about as likely as the sun imploding next year, the dead reanimating, or penguins taking over the world with machine guns.**

oOo

**Chapter 1:**

_Beep, beep, beep!_ Kurt's alarm clock screeched, jolting him awake. His eyes popped open and a tiny funnel of air whisked down his throat at he inhaled sharply. He blinked groggily as his fist moved from under the tangled mess of covers and slammed down on the annoying machine. _Bee_—silence. Kurt glared at the small clock, cursing it under his breath for being so loud and irritating and for waking him from a pleasant dream.

On the other side of the room, Evan woke up, though not as suddenly as Kurt had. He groaned and flipped onto his other side, putting his pillow over his head. "S, too early," he moaned, his voice muffled.

Kurt was already up and making his bed. "Up, Evan," he muttered, glancing across the room at his curled up friend. "Or I'll go get ze bucket of cold vater," he added with a tiny chuckle.

Evan shrugged, making the clump of sheets over his head and shoulders rise, then fall quickly. It looked like odd breathing. Kurt mischievously paced over to him and ripped back the covers, revealing Evan curled up in only his boxers.

"Gah, dude!" he cried, his eyes snapping open. He groped around for his missing covers. "It's cold. Give me my sheets back."

"Never!" Kurt cackled, dragging them all the way off Evan's bed. He dropped them in a large, blue and black ball wad on the carpeted floor. "If you vant zem, come get zem!" he taunted, his golden eyes dancing playfully.

Evan groaned, but pulled himself dramatically to his hands and knees. "Six thirty," he grumbled, "and I already hate everyone." He ran a hand through his bleached hair and stretched a little to ease the stiffness in his joints.

Kurt was on his way to their shared bathroom, a towel slung over his blue shoulder. "I zink you might have voken up on ze wrong side of ze bed, mein freund."

Evan glared at him as he vanished behind the bathroom door. "Hmm, no. I just woke up at six thirty after going to bed at midnight, so I'm gonna be a zombie all day. No thanks to you," he growled, but his irritation was already dissipating. He was tired, grumpy, and stiff, but he couldn't stay mad at his friend for any length of time. Kurt made sure he got up and made it school most mornings.

While Kurt took a shower, Evan picked up his wadded sheets and put them back on his bed. While putting them on, he found a crumpled up piece of paper in the folds, an old math assignment. "So that's why I failed that polynomial test," he mused, crumpling the paper back up and pitching it away.

He went on with his morning routine.

Kurt took a nice, long shower. He had to, in order to get all his fur clean. It took a long time with wash every inch of his body. He always did his tail last, squeezing the soap along the length of it with his hands. It made a satisfying squeaky sound, and it made all the fur behave and lie flat. He was rinsing off his tail, watching clumps of blue fur wash down the drain, when Evan rapped on the door and said, "Hey fuzzy man, no point in getting me up early if you're gonna hog the shower until it's time to go for school. Out!"

Kurt smiled and finished getting the shampoo off his tail. He whipped it around once, just for fun. "Ok, ok," he said, shutting of the warm water. "I left you some hot vater, alright?"

He put a towel around his waist and opened the door for Evan, who was waiting outside, tapping his foot impatiently. "Dude, you gotta take shorter showers," he complained.

Kurt turned away while Evan stripped down and got in the shower himself. When he heard the water running, he opened his eyes and turned to face the mirror. "Vell, it takes _time_ to vash all mein fur," he argued as he started to dry off. "Imagine how long it takes you vash your hair and multiply zat by about tventy."

"Takes me ten seconds to wash my hair," Evan laughed, flicking a stream of water up and over the shower curtain.

"You hardly _have_ any hair," Kurt pointed out. He removed an industrial blow dryer from one of the bathroom drawers and plugged it in.

"Good point," Evan muttered. He smirked when he heard the roar of the blow dryer. It was amusing to see Kurt dry himself off, and Evan didn't get to watch it very often. He turned off the water and got out sooner than usual just to see the ritual.

Kurt had his shorts on already. He was blowing off his chest, making the fur stick up and ripple around every which way. He looked like a fluffy doll of sorts, raggedy and poofy.

Kurt caught Evan staring at him. "Is it really zat bad?" he asked, a bit self-consciously.

Evan chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, it's just kinda cool to watch. You look like one of my little sisters plushy toys," he added, only half-teasing.

Kurt narrowed his eyes, scowled, and aimed the blow dryer at Evan, making his short, bleached hair fly around. Evan back off and walked over to his clothes. "Sorry, sorry," he said, still laughing. "But honestly you do."

Kurt huffed and continued to blow himself dry. It took about five more minutes, and when it was over, he looked wild—fur sticking up and clumping together in odd places. His tail looked like a grass-covered whip. Kurt stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, contemplating how he looked.

_God, Evan's right_, he thought. _I __**do**__ look like some horrible puff doll thing_. His gold eyes seemed to peer back at him amidst a jungle of blue fur. Fur…the curse of fur. It always shocked people when they realized he was furry. It always made him miserably hot in summer. He had to wash, dry, and brush it for a long time every day. He had to cut it like his hair every once in a while, which was a real ordeal. All in all, it didn't seem like such a great thing to have. But despite all the problems it caused him, he secretly liked having fur. It made him feel soft to the touch. It gave him something to play with if he was bored or needed to feel comforted. It made him feel warm and cozy all the time. It was part of what made him _Kurt_.

He sighed at his reflection before putting the blow dryer away and whipping out a large brush. He started with his face, and gradually worked his way down to his neck, chest, and arms. Evan, who'd finished getting dried and dressed, watched him meticulously brush every inch of himself. It was quite a process. He glanced down at his watch, which read about seven o' clock. They were going to be late for breakfast if Kurt didn't hurry it up.

He walked over to the sink and grabbed another brush out of one of the drawers. For some reason, Kurt had five different brushes. _One for every day of the school week?_ Evan wondered.

He picked up the brush and began smoothing down the fur on Kurt's back. Kurt glanced over his shoulder, arching his back at the feel of the brush. "Evan, you don't have to help me brush myself," he said with a tiny sigh. "I can do it."

"Yeah, but we're gonna miss breakfast if you don't hurry up," he pointed out. "Now shut up and go back to whatever you're doing." Kurt obeyed, giving Evan one last glance before resuming brushing his chest. Evan looked back down at his work. He had to admit, Kurt's fur was the softest thing he'd ever felt. When washed, it felt like the softest velvet, or like thick, smooth cornsilk, maybe. It was kind of fun to help brush him, almost like brushing a soft puppy. Evan shook his head at the thought, slapping himself for comparing his roommate to a puppy. If anything he was more like a cat, but Evan would never say that to him. It didn't seem right, even in humor. Kurt was very sensitive about being called names. He could tolerate Elf, Fuzzy, Furball, and a few others, but he didn't like being compared to animals or much less…the D word.

"I'll do my legs later," Kurt muttered, putting his brush away. He looked at Evan. "You finished back zere?"

"Yeah, I just gotta do the tail."

Kurt immediately grabbed his brush again. "You didn't do mein tail?" he wailed as he frantically started brushing it out.

"I'm not used to brushing fur," Evan protested. "I'm slow."

Kurt finished his tail, letting it flip out of his hands and wave around. "It's fine. Let's go," he said, throwing on a t-shirt and yanking open the bathroom door. The two boys were out and in the hall a moment later. Kurt touched Evan on the shoulder and teleported them both into the kitchen.

Evan took a moment to recover himself once they reappeared. Teleporting was the weirdest feeling. It felt to him like his whole body was compressed and squeezed through something tiny, like the head of a pin, before the pressure went away and he felt normal again. He looked around the kitchen as it appeared before him in a flash of smoke. Some of the students were already chowing down. Logan was in his usual place, reading the paper and drinking coffee. Hank was sitting at the far end of the table, eating next to Storm. Evan stepped away from Kurt and walked towards the table.

They sat down near Kitty and Rouge, who appeared to be having a 'lively' conversation. "Ahm telling yah, Nathaniel Hawthorne is th'best writah that evah lived," Rouge was arguing. She was holding a black book with a death grip, keeping it close to her body.

"Oh yeah?" Kitty challenged. "Well, like, let's see. Hand it over." She reached for the book Rouge was guarding.

"No," Rouge cried, holding it close to her chest. "Mahne." Evan and Kurt sat on either side of them.

"Ladies, calm down," Evan said in a cool voice. "What's with all this fighting?"

Rouge snorted and shifted the book protectively. "Kitty doesn't believe Mr. Hawthorne is the best writah in the world. She thinks it's Stephanie Meyer, or whatevah. The vampire lady."

Evan shrugged, raking eggs onto his plate. "I thought you liked vampires, Rouge. Dark, creepy—aren't those right up your alley?"

"Like, no way," Kitty answered for her. "There's too much romance and not enough blood and gore for Queen Goth to like Twilight."

"Twilight sucks. Too kissy an' lovey dovey," Rouge complained. "Ah don't know how yah can stand it."

"It's classic literature," Kitty sniffed.

"Vhat's the book for?" Kurt asked quietly, glancing down at the thick tome Rouge was holding on to.

"This? This is the Best of Everything Book. 2009 Updated Edition. Best movies, best actors, best books, an such," Rouge explained. "This book'll tell us if ahm right. If Miss Stephaine Meyer's in here under best writers, Kitty wins. But if Nathanial Hawthorne is in here, ah can say ahm right once an' for all."

Kurt and Evan both shook their heads. _Girls,_ they were thinking. Breakfast moved along. Kitty and Rouge finally opened the book and took a look. Neither author was on the best author's list, so they called it a stiff draw. They kept glaring at each other coldly throughout breakfast, as if fighting mentally. Kurt and Evan talked about school. When breakfast was finished, Kurt ran back upstairs for his watch and Evan for his book bag. Kurt took his black holowatch and slid it over his blue, fuzzy hand. His body flickered, like a TV screen blip, before changing to his human appearance—pale, dark haired, brown eyed, five fingered.

He wrapped his tail around his chest under his shirt and smoothed down his fur under the hologram. Evan glanced at him doing this as he stuffed his book bag full of textbooks. "Why don't you just go to school normally?" he asked curiously. It seemed to take Kurt a lot of effort to make himself look and feel more human, even though he had the watch.

Kurt paused and lifted his head, his eyes meeting his friends. His expression went blank and he blinked, as if he wasn't sure he'd heard Evan right. "Vhat?" he said slowly, shaking his head and going back to smoothing out his fur. "No, that's crazy." He laughed to cover up the wave of fear he felt rising in his chest.

Evan shrugged, slinging his bag over one shoulder. "I dunno. I'm just saying, it takes you so long to make yourself look, you know, like that. Why don't you just go to school like you really are?"

Kurt's lip twitched, and he smiled nervously. "People vould freak out," he said quickly, dismissing Evan's idea.

The two of them left the room. "I don't think so, man," Evan said calmly. "I mean, people are more accepting of mutants now. Sure, we get pushed around at school a bit, but I think you'd be ok."

Kurt sighed. He couldn't keep his feelings hidden forever so he switched gears. He scowled. "I don't think zo, Evan. Just drop it, ok?"

Evan wasn't one to question him, but he raised a curious eyebrow, wondering why Kurt objected so vehemently. He shrugged it off, assuming Kurt was just nervous. He knew Kurt was extremely conscious of how he looked, despite the jokes he made about himself and how he seemed to not care. Evan guessed he didn't want to be made fun of, and that seemed fair enough. After all, he got teased and pushed around all the time, and he was the normal looking one. Kurt would probably have it much worse.

The car ride to school was loud and boisterous, perfect for breaking the uncomfortable silence Evan and Kurt had had since breakfast. Kurt talked to Rouge, and Evan got started with Bobby and Sam. Scott had to yell, "Shut up!" every five minutes to preserve his sanity, but the silence was always short-lived. He was very glad when they got to school and everyone jumped out of the van.

"Why can't they take the bus?" Scott groaned, feeling a headache coming on. Jean slid her arm through his and nudged him with her elbow.

"Because. They like being together, Scott. No one to taunt them or anything. Just each other."

Scott sighed but smiled a little. "I know. I just wish they'd, you know, walk every once in a while so I could be alone with you."

"You have plenty of time alone with me," Jean said with a grin. "C'mon, we're going to be late for first period."

oOo

Kurt's first class was Trigonometry. He hated it, mostly because the teacher was a stuffy older man who was as good at teaching kids as Rouge would be at opera singing. Kurt played around and doodled idly. A bunch of stick figures appeared all over his notebook paper. He ended up drawing everyone at the mansion. For himself, he drew a stick figure and gave it triangles for ears and a long S for a tail. He sighed, noting how different his little stick-self was from the other stick people. Even as a doodle, he stuck out. He was the odd ball.

He chewed on the end of his pencil, rolling some thoughts around in his mind. 'Go to school without your inducer', Evan had said. What a crazy idea. He could imagine the whole day in his mind. He'd walk in, and everyone would stare at him, as if they'd all just seen Jesus coming for them—_bad analogy, Wagner_, he thought. Anyway, then, there'd be a pause, and a long, painful silence. Then…well, there were a few possibilities. They might scream, run, and throw things at him. Very likely. The students might freak out for a while, but slowly get over it. Unlikely. And maybe they'd get over themselves in a few seconds and accept that he was blue. Anorexically thin chance of that. Back to reality here. If he did go to school, there was a great chance—in his mind, at least—that he would be treated badly. Hurt, abused, pushed around. He didn't want that, or need it.

He closed his eyes, the negative feelings from earlier coming back. _I've already suffered enough at the hands of cruel people._ The thought was a mere whisper in his consciousness, but he felt his chest grow heavy, like an elephant was slowly sitting on him. A whir of suppressed, long-forgotten memories trickled into his mind. He tried to close them out. _No, no, please no_, he thought, scrunching his eyes. Guns, stones, knives, rope…burning, tearing, breaking…._No!_ He screamed, his mind growing immediately quiet and calm again. He exhaled, letting his breath go out slowly. _It's ok_, he thought comfortingly, feeling the dark memories fade back into the recesses of his mind.

The class continued and finally let out, marked by the screech of the bell. Everyone gathered their things and bustled off to their next class. Kurt felt much better after getting a grip on himself. He gathered his things slowly. His mind was still full, but at least he could control his thoughts. He kept his mind on other things. The Institute, training sessions, the fact that Logan was coming back tomorrow after a relatively long absence…..Anything. But despite his best efforts, he couldn't completely keep everything back. A few dark memories stayed stuck in his mind. Splinters in his brain.

At lunch, everyone was chattering about random stuff. Homework, after school stuff, whatever. Kurt sat with Bobby and Rouge, since Evan had apparently ditched lunch. "Evan didn't feel like eating?" Kurt asked as he scooted in beside Rouge.

"Nah, he grabbed some lunch, then ran off with his skatboardin' buddies. Ah think he might be ditchin' fah the rest of th'day," she guessed, shrugging.

"Oh." Kurt looked away and picked at his food. He was quiet. He mostly listened to Rouge and Bobby talk, along with the background noise from the other children in the cafeteria. Everything kind of ran together into a blur of sound, which Kurt eventually stopped paying attention to. His mind wandered. He drifted back to when he was a little kid. He never went to school as a kid. No school would take him, and they made that very obvious. So his mother taught him at home. He remembered working with her throughout the day. She was the best teacher—kind, patient, encouraging. She made everything fun, a game. Kurt and always liked being homeschooled when he was younger. It—

"Kurt?" Kurt's head snapped up. Rouge was nudging him, her eyes locked on his. She looked concerned, her head cocked to one side and her eyes open wide. "Kurt, you all right?" she asked.

"Ja, fine," Kurt said, pushing his food around some more, pretending to be interested in it. "Vhy?"

"Yah seem kinda spacey, fuzzy. And you're not eating," she added, glancing at his untouched food. Kurt never skipped a meal. "Something bothering yah?"

Kurt looked away, not wanting her to see anything in his eyes. Rouge was good at reading faces, especially eyes. He didn't want her to think anything was wrong. Just a little trouble with some old memories. "I'm fine," he said, his throat tightening. He wasn't fine, and something was bothering him, but it wasn't worth telling anyone about. "Just tired," he lied smoothly.

Rouge nodded. She believed that. Kurt was a notorious night owl, often going to bed at one, two, or even three in the morning. "Didn't sleep much, huh?"

Kurt nodded dismissively and took a bite of his food. After a moment, Rouge seemed satisfied and went back to talking to Bobby. Kurt was free to go back to his thoughts. During his last two classes, Biology and History, he didn't pay attention at all. His mind kept wandering back to Evan's words for earlier, and the bad memories that followed with them.

oOo

"_Mama?" Kurt asked. He was standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom, staring at his soft, blue reflection. "Warum bin ich blau?" (Why am I blue?)_

_His mother, Astrid, got down on her knees so that she was his height, and sat beside him. "Warum bin ich bleich? Weil ich bin. Und Sie sind blau, wiel du bist," she explained simply. (Why am I pale? Because I am. And you are blue because you are.)_

_Kurt sighed and pulled at a tuft of fur. "Aber warum bin ich blau?" he asked. (But why am I **blue**?)_

_Astrid chuckled and pulled her son onto her lap. "Weil Sie etwas Besonderes sind," she replied, hugging him tightly. (Because you're special.) His tiny tail snaked around her arm and he looked up at her sadly._

"_Die anderen Kinder nicht denken, ich bin speziellen," he said, his soft, golden eyes wavering. (The other children don't think I'm special.)_

_Astrid stroked his silky, black hair. He was so soft. "Sie verstehen nicht," she replied. (They don't understand.) She moved her hand from his hair to one of his ears, tugging on the end of it and rubbing the tip between her finger and thumb. "Alles, was man anders macht dich besonders," she said soothingly. (Everything that makes you different makes you special.) Kurt smiled a little. His tail whipped back and forth. "Und wenn jemand nicht sehen kann, dass es ihre Schuld, nicht diens," she added, kissing him on the top of the head. (And if someone can't see that, it's their fault, not yours.)_

_Kurt looked back at himself in the mirror. His mama's words were comforting, but they didn't seem to match reality. Everyone he'd met, child or adult, hadn't seen that he was just a little boy. 'Demon, monster, freak,' they'd called him. They didn't see that he was special._

_As if Astrid knew what he was thinking, she said, "Lassen Sie sich nicht die Meinsung eines anderen fuhlen Sie sich unbedeutend oder gering, Kurt. Su bist schon. Haben nicht verbergen. Stolz sein, was du bist." (Don't let someone else's opinion make you feel insignificant or low, Kurt. You are beautiful. Don't hide it. Be proud of what you are.)_

_Kurt found it hard to see the yellow-eyed boy looking back at him in the mirror beautiful, but he answered his mother, "Ich werde, Mama." (I will, Mama.)_

oOo

Kurt was standing in front of his bathroom mirror. He hadn't been focused all day, his mind busy. He looked at his sad-eyed reflection, contemplating something. In ten years, his face hadn't changed that much. It was still soft and elfin. His nose still turned down at the end and his cheekbones were high. His eyes were still almond shaped and golden, though they'd grown deeper and sadder with time. His ears had gotten longer, he noted. They'd been softly pointed and small. Now, they were sharply pointed and long, at least an inch or two longer than normal peoples' ears. He was, of course, still blue and fuzzy. That was never going to change, no matter how old he got.

He met the eyes of his reflection, thinking how strange they looked. _Beautiful?_ He turned his mother's words over in his mind. If anything, they were haunting eyes. Scary, pupilless, with a burning topaz color. There was nothing beautiful about his eyes. Or his face, for that matter. He ran his tongue along his sharp fangs. His two canines were slightly longer and pointier than his other teeth, giving him a subtle vampire look. The eyes and the fangs, plus the ears, plus the impish face—it definitely didn't look…demonic, but it didn't look beautiful or special, as his mother had said. Sighing, Kurt looked away from the mirror and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, mama," he whispered. "I try to like mein self, but…it's so hard." _Und if I can't like myself this way_, he thought bitterly, _humans certainly won't._

oOo

**A/N: Ok, so maybe chapter _un_ wasn't that exciting, but it'll get better, I promise. While I'm not thick on the action yet, I thought it would be cool to explore some of the aspects of Kurt's life that seem interesting but unaddressed in the show. For example, how does he deal with all his fur and stuff like that? Anyway, review if you want a chapter 2.**

**-The Ember Raven**


	2. Chapter 2

**Haunted**

**A/N: Thank you Zewy, heartinajar, G.O.R.E., WaffleNinja, Mesocricetus, ham097, and Hunckbook for reviewing. Also, someone commented and said they saw Kurt/Evan slash going on. Totally unintentional. Kurt and Evan are just good friends. Hope that clears some stuff up. Read on!**

oOo

**Chapter 2:**

"_Kurt?" Astrid poked her head in her son's room. He'd been quiet all morning, which wasn't a good sign. He was always making noise, being boisterous, and running around._

"_Ja, mama?" Kurt was hiding on the far side of his bed, where there was a gap between the bed and wall. He played there a lot._

_Astrid took a step into the room, looking around. "Wo bist du, Kurt? Versteckst de dich?" she asked, making her way to the far side of his bed, where she suspected he was. (Where are you, Kurt? Are you hiding?)_

_Kurt heard his mother coming and he started to cry, ashamed. He hung his head and waited for her to come. A moment later, she saw him. Her expression shifted from immediate surprise to fear, concern, then anger, before returning to surprise and concern. She knelt down in front of her son, her eyes watering up._

"_Oh, Kurt," she whispered. He was surrounded by clumps of his own fur. On the floor beside him was a pair of scissors. The blades were full of tufts of blue fur. Kurt had succeeded in cutting the fur off most of his arms and his chest, and he looked like he'd been about to do his face and neck. There were several cuts along his exposed skin from the scissor blades. Kurt cried some more and leaned into his mother's lap._

_She stroked him quietly, trying to understand why he would do something so hurtful to himself. She closed her eyes, the voices of the other townschildren ringing in her mind. 'Du bist ein Freak, du blauen Haaren Damon!' (You're a freak, you blue haired demon!)_

'_Sie chauen nicht nach rechts.' (You don't look right.)_

'_Freak.'_

'_Monster.'_

'_Hund!' (Dog)_

_Oh, that was why…_

_Kurt shivered and pulled himself into a meek, tight ball of pain. Astrid rubbed her hands in circles along his back, which, thankfully, he hadn't touched with the scissors. Yet. "Ihre schone Pelz…" she said with a wistful sigh. (All your beautiful fur...)_

"_Warum willst du wie die anderen Kinder aus?" (Why do you want to look like the other children?) It seemed like a stupid question. Of **course** he wanted to look normal. He wouldn't get hurt, abused, or rejected if he did. He might actually be able to go outside, play with kids his age, and be happy._

"_Ich will sie mir wie," Kurt choked out. (I want them to like me.)_

_Astrid's heart broke for her son. It was so hard to raise a child who looked—as much as she hated to admit it—like a tiny demon. "Ich wieß," she murmured. (I know.)_

_There was really nothing more for her to say. She couldn't find the words—or she'd have said them already—to comfort him. She couldn't say anything that would make him feel better about himself, because clearly he hated himself at the moment. She couldn't convince him people would one day accept him for what he was. She didn't even know if that would ever happen herself. She hated her own inability to help her son. Her sweet, precious son. The only thing she could do was say a silent prayer._

_**Gott, bitte hilf meinem Sogn. Er est so verloren und unsicher. Ihm helfen, erwachsen zu warden fur jeden, auch sich selbst zu lieben. (God, please help my son. He's so lost and unsure of himself. Help him grow up to love everyone, including himself.)~**_

Kurt twitched, then jolted awake, sitting up in bed very rapidly. Blood rushed to his head, producing a strange buzz in his ears. His groggy brain was a little overloaded from the stimulation. He shook his head before dropping his face into his palms.

"Crap," he hissed very quietly, not wanting to wake Evan. He closed his eyes, feeling his cool palms pressed against his sweaty face. _Haven't had that dream in years,_ he thought angrily to himself. _Why am I having it again? _The dream, though somewhat faded now, was clear enough for the emotions that accompanied it to seep into his mind. The dream was an old memory, from when he was 8 or 9, he imagined. It was a sad, painful dream, but for some reason it felt like he'd just had a violent nightmare.

_What's wrong with me?_ He groaned. He hadn't felt insecure or been plagued by old fears and memories since he'd come here. Living in America, where he was accepted and had friends, he didn't need to feel like he once had. So why were those old ghosts coming back for him now? He sighed, trying to clear his mind, wipe it clean like a fresh slate.

_Maybe that was just a weird blip in my brain or something_, he convinced himself. _Maybe I just had a bad night_. Yeah, that sounded good to him. He hoped that was it, and that the dreams would stop before they began. Deep in his mind, he knew that was never going to happen. Once he started having old dreams again, they kept coming, stronger and stronger with each wave. His head reeled at the thought.

_Back to bed, Wagner,_ he told himself. It was easier to sleep than to sit up all night worrying. Slowly, he stretched out on his side and wound his tail tightly around one of his wrists. He tried to relax. He kept inhaling, holding his breath for a few seconds, then exhaling slowly, as if anticipating an attack of some sort. He tried to steady his breathing by counting to himself. _Eins, zwei, drei, vier….breathe. _He inhaled slowly.

Exhale. Evan's calm, even breathing coming from the other side of the room was relaxing. It flowed smoothly, coming and ebbing like gentle waves. Kurt rolled his eyes. Sheesh, comparing Evan's breathing to waves. _You're delirious from a lack of sleep, Wagner_, he thought wryly. He repositioned himself and continued trying to fall asleep.

oOo

Kurt woke up again around seven, when the sunlight from the window on the far wall hit his eyes. He sat up slowly and did a few stretches that looked extremely feline. He stretched one leg, then the other, arched his back, then extended his tail out and up in an arc until it popped. He relaxed and let his tail go limp.

Evan was snoring lightly in his bed. Kurt decided to let him sleep and wandered into the bathroom to take a shower. He ran the water, waited until it was warm, then striped down and stepped in. He relaxed under the stream of water. After a long, leisurely shower, he turned off the water and hopped out. He started his post-shower routine—drying and brushing. He was about halfway finished drying off when he heard Evan remark from the other side of the door, "Fuzzy, you about finished in there? I'd like a shot at the bathroom, too, yah know."

Kurt turned off the blow dryer. He stuck his head out the door, to see that Evan was still in bed, curled up and comfy. "You're not even at ze door," he complained.

Evan snorted. "By the time I feel like getting up, actually go through the motions, get all my shower stuff, and get over there, you'll still be primping in front of the mirror."

Kurt narrowed his eyes, twisting his mouth into a funny shape. "Primping? Zat's something girls do! Vhat, are you saying I'm vain or somezing?"

Evan lifted a blonde eyebrow. "No. I'm saying you're slow, you hog the bathroom, _and _you're vain."

Kurt growled playfully. Despite the fact his legs were still damp, he stepped out of the bathroom, casually walked over to his bed, and grabbed the biggest, fluffiest pillow he could find. He walked over to Evan and slammed the pillow down over his head.

Evan squeaked in surprise. "Hey!" he cried in protest, recovering from the shock. He rolled over and reached for one of his pillows. He hurled it up at Kurt, hitting him square in the face.

"Pillow fight!" Kurt screamed, running over to his bed to get all of his pillows. Outside in the hall, Jamie, Bobby, and Sam heard this. They were still in their pajamas, all on their way to breakfast.

Jamie pushed the door open. "Did someone say pillow fight?" he asked, just as Kurt threw a pillow across the room at Evan, who used his pillow as a body shield. Jamie grinned.

"C'mon guys, let's go get out pillows," he said.

"Use your Jamie-clones," Sam suggested. Jamie, nodded, multiplied himself about five times, and his multiples ran off to collect pillows. They came back about a minute later, each one carrying two pillows. The three boys took their pick and stormed into Kurt and Evan's room.

"Charge!" Sam and Bobby cried at the same time. Kurt and Evan didn't seem to mind the addition of the three boys, in fact, they seemed to like it. Kurt took Jamie on his team, while Evan took Bobby and Sam. Kurt, Jamie, and a bunch of his multiples faced off against Evan, Sam, and Bobby.

The boys clashed and made a fluffy, pillow mess everywhere. Since Jamie used his powers to make duplicates, Sam decided to use his. Then, everyone started using their powers, and it became a pillow fight with pillows, spikes, ice, and explosions. Total destruction. The fight caused so much noise, that Rouge and Tabby on their way downstairs heard the racket and poked around to see what the hell was making so much noise. They smirked when they saw the enormous pillow fight.

"Guys!" Rouge yelled, making everyone in the room freeze. They all stared at her, like little kids caught in the act of stealing ice cream.

"Y'all are having a huge pillow fight, wrecking everythin', and makin' a huge mess," she said, the boys looking more and guiltier with each phrase, "without us?"

The boys all grinned, and a few of them threw the girls some spare pillows. "C'mon," Bobby said, waving the girls over. The fighting resumed instantly, but with two more participants. It stopped when everyone was tired, and wanted to go have breakfast.

"Oh, what a mess," Evan sighed after the others were gone. There were pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals everywhere. Plus, someone had taken a mattress off one of the beds, probably to use as a giant weapon. Kurt grinned, opening the door.

"Ve can clean up after breakfast," he said, leading the way out.

* * *

><p>After a late breakfast, Kurt, Evan, and some of the other boys decided to hang out. They stole the paper from Logan and tore through it for ideas. "Oh, movies," Bobby said, fingering a long list of movies playing at the local theater. The others gathered closer.<p>

"Where?" Bobby asked, leaning in. "Oh man, I wanna go see the new action movie. Sounds cool."

"No way, check this out," Evan interrupted, pointing at a horror movie. "Who wants to see blood guts and dismemberment, huh?"

"I do," Jamie chimed in, standing on his tiptoes to get a better look.

"Jamie, no vay," Kurt said. "You're like tvelve years old."

"Aww."

"Guys, guys, we should see the horror movie," Evan pressed on. "Why not?"

"Yuck," Kurt and Bobby groaned together.

"Well, I want to see it," Evan said, closing the paper.

"See what?" Scott said, just walking into the kitchen.

"Horror movie."

"No action," Bobby cut in. "No one but you wants to see the horror movie, Evan,"

"I'd like to see an action movie," Scott offered. "What's playing?"

The boys told him. "Sure. Sounds like fun," he said, shrugging.

Evan sighed in resignation. "Fine. Action movie. Next show time's thirty minutes. Let's go, people."

"Wooohooo!"

oOo

Kurt teleported back up to his room to get ready. He grabbed his wallet and shoved five bucks inside. _Better add another five_, he thought, putting another bill into the wallet. As he was about to leave, he walked past the mirror on the wall and saw his reflection. He paused and stared at himself.

He noticed the angularity of his eyes, the sharpness of his fangs, the strangeness of his face. He looked away and went back for his image inducer. He looked at it as it lay in his open palm. He hesitated, wanting to put it back on his bedside table. However, something made him put it on his wrist and turn it on. His form flickered, revealing the hands of a normal boy. Kurt sighed, looking at his pale, five fingered hands. He didn't know why, but a sudden feeling of security came over him. With his inducer on, he wasn't as scary, or as distracting. He felt normal.

He closed his eyes.

_This is not me_, he thought. He felt the fur under his hologram. He had fur. He was blue. He only had three fingers.

_Yes, it is_, a tiny voice whispered.

Just then, Evan walked in. "Dude, I forgot my baseball hat. You seen it?" Kurt shook his head.

"Sorry, no."

Evan dug around under his bed, and grinned triumphantly as he removed a wadded up baseball cap. He flipped it around in his hands before sliding it over his head. Evan glanced over at Kurt, who was on his way out. "You gonna wear your image inducer to the movies, k-man?" he asked, confused. Kurt felt ok being himself out in public, because no one knew who he was. At school, he wore his image inducer so no one would find out he was a mutant, but that was the only place he wore it.

Kurt shrugged. "I feel like it," he replied simply, smiling to hide his mixed feelings.

Evan didn't say anything, but followed Kurt out of the room. _That's weird_, he thought as he made his way down the long hall. Kurt bamfed away as soon as he was out the door, leaving Evan by himself. _Kurt never wears that watch out in public, only at school. Why's he doing it now? What's he got to worry about?_ It didn't make sense to him.

Downstairs, everyone was gathered near the front doors. Scott arrived, keys in hand, and motioned for everyone to go to the garage. They all squeezed into his red sports car—Evan sat shotgun, and Kurt, Sam, and Bobby sandwiched together in the back.

When they got to the theater, they bought tickets and made their way to their seats. Everyone got settled in, and the movie began.

oOo

It was late evening. Kurt was sitting on his bed, looking at his image inducer. He'd taken it off and put it back on his bedside table, but for some reason, he couldn't stop looking at it. He was thinking.

Evan spent his time listening to rap. After a while, he grew bored and glanced over at Kurt. He noticed that Kurt staring at the watch intently, as if pondering something. Evan decided to bring up his thoughts from earlier.

"The watch ain't gonna jump up and bite you, yah know," he teased, deciding to approach the subject carefully, knowing how sensitive Kurt could be.

Kurt looked up and smiled. "Vhat?" He shook his head. "Sorry, I vas just thinking about somezing."

"About what?" Evan pressed, trying to sound casually interested. Kurt had been pensive and a little distant lately, uncharacteristic traits for him. Evan wanted to know what was eating him.

Kurt rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "Nothing."

Evan sighed. "C'mon, k-man. You've been acting weird lately. You've hardly said a word all day, and you were wearing that watch out to the movies. What's up?"

Kurt glanced at him, then looked back up at the ceiling. His face was hard to read, but his tail flicked back and forth, as if agitated. "I was vearing ze watch so zat you guys vouldn't get hassled because I vas vith you," he explained. That wasn't the real reason he'd worn it, but he hoped Evan would buy it.

Evan didn't. "Dude, how often does anyone bother you about how you look in public? Like, almost never. And you don't hafta worry about us. If anyone gives us trouble, we can handle it. I don't even see why you wear that thing to school," he added.

Kurt sat up and put his arms across his knees. He rested his chin on his forearms. "I don't vant people to hate me," he said quietly, looking down at the floor now.

Aha. Evan felt like he was getting to the bottom of the matter now. "They won't hate you," he said. "I mean, I get picked on every once in a while for being a mutant, but it's not so bad. People are more accepting of us now."

Kurt sighed. "Zat's because you're normal looking. I wouldn't be treated like you. I know." Again, the memories, swirling and clashing in his mind like a storm. His heart jumped into his throat.

Evan shrugged. "Well, if you say so. I wasn't trying to push you into anything…"

Kurt nodded dismissively. "Ja." He stretched out and turned away from Evan, signaling he was finished talking. Evan went back to his music.

Something didn't feel right to him. Kurt wasn't paranoid, and he'd never been treated badly here, so he wasn't sure where his negative feelings were coming from. Evan had caught the fearful look in Kurt's eyes just before they'd finished talking. Something was going on with Kurt—something he didn't know about.~

oOo

**There will be a chapter 3, since I got so many good reviews for this story. I know this chapter wasn't very eventful, but it gets better, I promise.**

**-The Ember Raven**


	3. Chapter 3

**Haunted**

**A/N: Thank you StarShinobi, Kaeley Rikes, Jakkin, GambitLover, FNCALYM, meowmeowpunch, and waffleninja for reviewing my last chapter! Here's chapter 3, and I'm sorry I took a while to update. Oh, and thank you Nonneke for helping me with the German parts. You're awesome.**

oOo

**Chapter 3:**

The students were all gathered in the kitchen, eating breakfast together. Kurt was sitting beside Evan, just picking at his food. He was exhausted; last night, he'd hardly slept. He'd felt cold all night, and he'd had strange, old dreams he'd forgotten about or tried to suppress. He'd woken up feeling slightly numb and detached. Evan couldn't help but notice. He nudged Kurt with his elbow.

"Dude? Hey, you alive in there, blue boy?" he teased. Kurt looked up, his eyes tired.

He shrugged. "Couldn't sleep," he muttered, trying to smile. A brief smile found its way onto his face, and his eyes lit up for a moment.

"Again? That's two nights in a row," Evan pointed out, noting somewhat embarrassingly that he sounded like Storm or his mother.

Kurt turned a sausage over on his plate. "I had some bad exams zis week. I guess I've been sort of nervous."

"Yeah, just"—

"Hey guys," Kitty cut in, sliding into the vacant seat beside Kurt. "Mind if I join the zombie hoard this morning?"

As she sat down, her arm rubbed against Kurt's bare arm. She flinched for a moment. As much as Kitty was used to Kurt and liked him, it was sometimes hard to suppress her instinctual reactions to touching him unexpectedly. She couldn't help but flinch when she was surprised to feel fur and not skin. She didn't know why she did that, but it was sort of built in. Kurt didn't mind.

She noticed that Kurt wasn't as perky as he usually was, so she quickly joked to cover up her reaction. "I'm glad I'm sitting next to you, fuzzy. I was so cold last night. Like, maybe the Prof needs to fix the heater." Kurt shrugged.

Kitty glanced at him. "You ok, fuzzy?"

Kurt nodded and smiled at her a little. "Fine, danke," he deadpanned.

Kitty left him alone. After all, everyone had their 'off' days. Rouge had them all the time, and she would know, seeing as they were roommates. Breakfast passed uneventfully. After the table was cleared, Kurt ran upstairs for his bookbag. While he was there, He grabbed his image inducer and changed shirts. He put on a long sleeved shirt and rubbed his arms comfortingly. _I can't believe Kitty flinched when she touched me_, he thought, looking down at his pale hands. _She's done that before, and I've never cared. Why have I never noticed that?_ He pulled the sleeves down over his hands and shouldered his bookbag. _Do I feel weird to other people_? He wondered, running a hand through the fur on the back of his hand. It felt soft, like velvet or soft down. He shook his head and teleported into the garage.

oOo

At school, he fretted. In his first class, he sat way in the back and fidgeted with his pencil instead of taking notes. In the hallways between first and second period, he practically glued himself to the walls and kept his hands in his pockets to avoid being touched. He didn't want to be touched. In his second class, it was the same thing. Kept to himself and fretted. He looked around at his fellow classmates. They were texting back and forth, throwing things, passing notes…he couldn't do half the things they could, because if he did, someone would feel his fur and know something was wrong with him.

_Nothing's wrong with you, Wagner,_ he told himself. He'd always been told that. His mother and father had told him, the professor and the teachers at the Institute told him—he was normal as he was.

_If you're normal, how come there's no one else like you_? A tiny voice whispered in the back of his mind. Kurt bit his lip. He hated when he second-guessed himself. But it was true—if he was so normal, how come he had to hide? How come he couldn't be blue and furry Kurt Wagner? Well, technically, he could. He could go to school without his image inducer, but he couldn't make himself do it. Panic worked its way up into his throat at the very notion.

He hung his head. _What am I? _Was he normal-looking Kurt Wagner or blue-furred, pointy-eared Nightcrawler? They seemed like two different people, and one was far more favorable than the other….

The bell rang. Kurt grabbed his books and stuffed them in his bag. He slung his book bag over his shoulder and slipped out behind the swelling mass of students. He worked his way towards the cafeteria, weaving in and out of the moving body of people. He ducked into the cafeteria and waited in line for food. He found a seat at the table where the Xavier students usually sat. Scott was already sitting and talking with Jean. He looked like he was flirting with her. Kurt sighed and sat at the far end of the table so he wouldn't bother them.

He ate some lunch quietly until Rouge showed up. Rouge sat beside him and smiled at him.

"Afternoon, crawler," she said cheerily. Kurt glanced over at her and smiled half-heartedly.

They ate in silence. Then, Kurt noticed something sticking out of Rouge's bag that looked suspiciously like a poster. He pulled it out and caught a glimpse of a man in a mask. _Phantom of the Opera the Musical_? Kurt mused. Rouge immediately looked up and smacked the sheet out of Kurt's hand.

"Get yer fuzzy mitts off mah poster!" she said. She blushed with embarrassment; she didn't like people to know she liked musicals. It might ruin her image as a tough goth chick.

Kurt, however, took her reaction the wrong way, thinking she was mad at him. On top of his other worries and problems, it all started to weigh down on him. An uncomfortable feeling worked its way into his chest, and he rose from his seat and stalked out of the cafeteria. He didn't exactly know why he left or where he was going, but he just needed to leave.

Rouge paused and watched him leave, extremely confused. "Kurt, wait, ah'm not mad at you," she called after him. She got up out of her seat to follow him, but he was halfway across the room. He didn't seem to hear her. She abandoned her lunch and dashed after him.

She followed him out into the hall and then she couldn't find him anymore. He'd teleported elsewhere. Rouge narrowed her eyes in determination. "Ok, Kurt," she sighed. "Ah'll find yah. An' and ah'll find out what's wrong with you."

oOo

Kurt teleported back to the mansion. He locked himself in his room for several hours. Eventually, school got out and Rouge came home to find him. She knocked on his door and poked her head inside. Kurt was curled up on the floor near the window, his tail swishing back and forth slowly.

She sat down beside him and nudged him with her boot. "Yah ok, Kurt?" she asked.

Kurt shrugged. "Fine, danke."

"Ah really wasn't mad at yah at lunch, you know," Rouge went on. "Just sorta embarrassed ah guess." Her cheeks flushed pale pink.

"It's not that," Kurt dismissed her quietly.

"What's botherin' you?" Rouge pressed, genuine concern showing in her voice.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said simply and blatantly. As much as he liked Rouge and felt close to her, he knew she wouldn't understand. Rouge always acted like herself and was proud of it. Kurt couldn't say the same for himself.

Rouge shrugged. "Ah can't help yah if you don't tell meh what's wrong, sugah. Something up at school?" she offered. Kurt was rarely moody. His current mood was bothering her—it wasn't like Kurt to brood and be upset for so long. And he wouldn't tell her what was wrong, either. Usually, Kurt would tell her anything.

"Nein."

"Something bothering you here?"

Kurt propped himself up on his elbows. He glared at Rouge. "Rouge, no," he snapped. "I said I don't want to talk. You wouldn't understand. It's….personal." He lowered his eyes sadly. He felt a tiny wave of guilt roll through him. He didn't mean to snap at his sister. She was only trying to help.

Rouge knew when to back out, and she did so accordingly. She nodded stiffly and got up. "Hey Kurt?" she said just as she was opening the door.

Kurt muttered, "Ja?"

"If something's botherin' ya, tell somebody. It ain't gonna do you any good tah keep all yer problems bottled up inside. Does things to ya," she said, lowering her eyes and sighing. She of all people understood that.

Kurt nodded and lay back down.

oOo

"_Kurt? Was ist los?" Kris asked. (What's wrong?) He was sitting on the end of Kurt's bed. Kurt was curled up into a tight ball._

"_Nichts," Kurt mumbled. (Nothing) He rolled over so his father couldn't see his face. He hurt. His chest hurt. His legs hurt. He'd gone out into the village streets earlier because he'd seen other children playing. He'd gone to join them. Needless to say, he wasn't kindly welcomed into their circle._

"_Warum ist dein Peltz schmutzig?" (Why is your fur dirty?) Kris inquired. Kurt shrugged._

_Kris tried again. "Du weißt, wenn du mir etwas mitteillen möchtest, werde ich immer zuhören," he said gently, rubbing Kurt's back. (You know, if you want to tell me something, I'll always listen.)_

_Kurt nodded. Tears wetted the corner of his eyes. He swallowed quickly."Ich weiß, papa." (I know)_

oOo

Kurt sighed heavily. His chest felt very heavy all of a sudden. Almost ten years had passed since that conversation, and he was still struggling. He tucked his tail between his legs and held onto it with both hands.

Hours passed. Kurt fell asleep on the floor. When Evan came into the room, he left Kurt alone, but he had to wonder why Kurt was curled up on the floor and not in bed. He didn't wake him up. It was either very late at night or very early in the morning. Kurt woke up after another nightmare. His palms were hot and sweaty and his body felt like fire. He sighed, sat up, and stretched.

He teleported out into the hall and worked his way down into the kitchen. He needed something to comfort him—coffee, hot chocolate, tea….anything warm and sugary. He noticed that the light was on in the kitchen. He poked his head around the doorway to see Logan sitting at the counter-island, drinking a beer. Kurt sighed and walked into the kitchen.

Logan looked up and smiled. "Was wondering if you'd come in or go away," he said.

Kurt trudged over to the coffee machine. "Zorry. Didn't vant to disturb anything."

Logan laughed roughly. "What the hell do you think you're gonna disturb at 2 in the morning, huh? Scott and Jean makin' out? I doubt it. An' what are **you** doing up at this time anyhow? Don't yah ever sleep, kid?"

Kurt got a cup out of one of the white cupboards. "Ja. Sometimes. Had a nightmare," he muttered honestly. Logan was easy to talk to, so he didn't feel like making up some lame excuse for why he was up.

Logan sipped his beer. "What about?"

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. "Something from when I was a kid. Old memory, I guess."

Logan nodded understandingly. "I know all about old memories comin' back tah haunt yah," he said. "Ain't it too bad we can't just wash bleach across our brains an' get rid of the things we want to forget?"

Kurt nodded. He poured some of the steaming coffee into his cup. "Ja, I guess," he said. He added some milk and sugar and sat at the island with Logan. "Vhat do you do to forget?"

Logan grinned and held up his beer. "A good dose of alcohol works wonders," he mused, cracking a broad grin. "But honestly….nothin' really helps in the long run."

"Do you ever talk to anyone?" Kurt asked, Rouge's words coming into his mind suddenly.

Logan nodded. "Yep. Talkin' tah the Prof ain't too bad. I give the old man credit for havin' some decent advice."

Kurt mauled over that piece of information for a moment. "Oh," he muttered.

Just then, Logan finished his beer and hopped off the stool he was sitting on. He knocked Kurt in the arm with his fist as he walked by him. "Don't stay up all night thinkin', elf. Ain't good fer yah. Get some sleep," he advised.

Kurt nodded absently. "Ja. Danke, Herr, Logan."

Logan nodded and vanished into the darkness. Kurt stayed around for a few minutes and sipped his coffee. Maybe he could talk to someone. Maybe it would help ease some of the tension he felt. He sighed. But who could he talk to? Evan, maybe? Rouge…He shook his head, uncertain.

"Maybe I do just need some sleep," he murmured, pushing his coffee cup away from himself. He rested his chin on his crossed arms. He closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off into unconsciousness, where the darkness waited for him. He slept, but it wasn't peacefully.

oOo

**Ok, so you know how I promised action? Weeeeell that will be the next chapter. We're just building up to the moment when Kurt finally snaps. It is coming, I promise. Wait and see….**

**-The Ember Raven**


	4. Chapter 4

**Haunted**

**Author's Note: I know, I know, I've been away for a long time. I've abandoned you guys! I'm terrible….Anyway, yeah. You don't want to hear about my life (which is crazy), but the point is, I'm back on track with my writing. So, without further ado, here's Chapter 4, ready to go. Read on!**

oOo

**Chapter 4:**

A few days passed. Kurt quickly descended into paranoia and found that he was easily angered or upset, even by things that normally wouldn't have bothered him. For instance, Bobby made a remark about his fur, and that turned into a bitter fight. Normally, Kurt would have laughed it off and made some remark about Bobby's ice powers. But Kurt was troubled. His mind was so full it hurt. All he could think about were the things he wanted to forget. He wanted to just be able to turn his brain off and get some peace. But he found none, and the constant string of thoughts in his head slowly pushed him closer to the breaking point.

Like most things that bend, there's a point where they snap. For Kurt, it was a simple encounter with Rouge. He'd started wearing his holowatch everywhere. It made him feel safe, and (in his mind) fewer students at the Institute stared at him when he wore it. In reality, some of his friends were getting worried. Why wasn't he hanging out with them? He spent hours at a time locked in his room. And it was odd for him to wear his watch everywhere. It wasn't _him_.

oOo

Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table, absently reading a schoolbook. He hadn't bothered to take his watch off after school, so he still looked like pale-skinned, black haired, normal teenage Kurt. He knew he was supposed to be focusing on the book, but it wasn't holding his interest. His mind wandered. Dark, unhappy thoughts floated into his brain. He shut his eyes, trying to clear his mind. He opened them again and went back to reading.

Rouge drifted into the kitchen, looking for a snack. She glanced around the kitchen before shuffling over to the cupboards. She acknowledged Kurt sitting at the table, noting his human appearance. It bothered her for some reason. Kurt was blue, fun-loving, fur ball….Kurt. Not some average boy. Rouge couldn't image why he would want to be normal.

"Whah do you wear that thing insahd?" she asked, pulling a packet of Pop Tarts out of a big box. Kurt peeked at her over his shoulder.

"Pop Tarts for dinner?" he asked, ignoring the question. "Sounds like zomezing I'd do."

Rouge took that as a sign to continue. Avoiding the question meant he didn't want to answer it, which meant she needed to ask it again. "Ah guess so. But seriously, whah do you wear that holo-thing in here? It's only fer school."

Kurt shrugged, but a dark look fleetingly crossed his features. "I can use it wherever I vant," he said sharply. "It's mine."

Rouge nibbled on a Strawberry Pop Tart. She sighed. "Whah can't yah just be yerself?" she blurted out.

Kurt growled in the back of his throat, and he turned to face Rouge. His body tensed defensively. "You have a problem vith ze vay I am?" he snapped.

"Yeah, ah do," Rouge challenged, posing herself defensively as well. "You've been acting strange and distant for like two weeks now. You're wearing that stupid watch everywhere, an acting moody an ignorin' your friends! Ah don't know what's been going through yer head lately, but that watch ain't gonna change what you are, ok?"

"Und vhat am I?" Kurt said, narrowing his eyes. He was on his feet, his fight or flight instincts kicking in.

Rouge didn't meet his eyes. She looked away for a moment and sighed sadly to herself. "You're mah brothah," she said quietly, cooling down from her angry state. "But ah don't know where he is right now."

Kurt stopped in his tracks. Rouge's words found their way into the deepest part of his heart. It hurt, like a punch in the gut. Kurt lowered his eyes, ashamed. He felt his face heat up. He wanted to explain to Rouge what was wrong—he was so confused and hurt. But he couldn't. He couldn't meet her eyes or open his mouth to say anything. Instead, he frowned and teleported away, abruptly ending the fight.

Rouge stared at the empty space in front of her and sighed. _He needs help_, she realized. And she had an idea where to get it.

oOo

"Dude, no way am I talkin' to Kurt," Evan cried, shaking his head and backing away from Rouge.

"You have to. Or somebody does. He just got into a huge fight with me, an ah can't talk tah him. You have tah," Rouge urged, losing what little patience she had. Evan was not willing to work with her at all, and it was frustrating. When she'd come to him, she'd hoped he would help her.

Evan sighed. "Ok, you're not the one sharing a room with him. He's gone scary, man. Like, nightmares and bad mood scary. I can't talk to him. It's like…talking to an angry dog. Not good."

"That's exactly why yah have tah talk tah him," Rouge went on. She put her gloved hands on Evan's shoulders to express her seriousness. "I know he's been acting like…"

"Devil Kurt lately?" Evan supplied.

"Yeah. That. But he's not improving, an he's shutting us out. That's a cry fah help, Evan." Evan rubbed his neck, thinking.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll try to see what's eating him, k? All I know is, he hasn't been sleeping a lot lately. He keeps talking about nightmares. Maybe I can find something out."

"Yeah," Rouge agreed. "Just take it slow. Kurt can be….sensitive, yah know?"

Evan shrugged. "Well, up until now, I really didn't know Kurt had a dark side, but yeah. Good point."

Rouge smiled a tiny smile. "Yah gotta get through tah him. You're his best friend. You can do it."

Evan exhaled. "Man, I hope so."

oOo

Kurt sat on the roof of the Institute for a long time to think. For a while, he just shivered and tried not to think about what he'd said to Rouge earlier. He listened to the sound of his own voice, and a sharp chill ran down his spine. How could he have lashed out like that? And on his own sister…He buried his head in his hands and cried. Why was he such a mess? He'd been fine and then, bam! Nightmares, sleepless nights, bad moods, old memories, fighting…Where had it come from?

Kurt looked up from his hands and up at the starry sky. He felt very alone and distant for a moment. The stars shining down were cold and lonely, not very comforting. He looked away and sighed, wondering what to do. Logan's words filling his head. Talk to someone. It seemed simple enough, but who was crazy enough to talk to him? Rouge was out of the question. He'd probably pissed her off to the extreme. Logan was away for the evening so he didn't count. That really only left Evan.

Kurt groaned at the thought. Evan had been subjected to lots of verbal abuse from him lately. He might not want to talk. But then again, who else could he turn to? He finally decided that Evan was the best choice. With that, he stood up slowly and teleported back inside.

He made his way toward his bedroom, knowing that was the most likely place for Evan to be. On his way there, he passed the living room and spotted Evan sitting on the back of one of the couches. Kurt stopped dead and stared at his friend for a moment. Evan looked upset about something. Maybe now wasn't a good time to bother him. _No_, his mind snapped. _Go. Talk._

Kurt trudged over to the couch and sat beside Evan. Evan looked up, his face a mix of shock and confusion. Kurt sighed to calm himself.

"Dude, what are you doing here? I need to talk to you," Evan began, his eyes serious.

"I know. I need to talk too," Kurt admitted.

Evan raised a bleached eyebrow. "Really? You wanna talk?"

"Ja," Kurt said. "Listen, I know I've been acting weird lately, but I'm just really confused right now. There's a lot going on in my head. It's hard…"

"So what **is** going on in your head, exactly?" Evan pressed, but keeping his tone casual and calm.

Kurt shook his head. His bangs fell over part of his face, shrouding one of his eyes. "I don't know vhat started it, but I keep remembering things from vhen I vas younger. Like, bad memories and stuff."

"The nightmares?" Evan assumed, feeling like this was starting to make a bit more sense.

"Ja. I haven't had any in years, and then they just stared coming, over and over." His eyes went hollow and distant, as he was somewhere else.

"What exactly are you having nightmares about?" Evan wondered, trying to imagine what kind of memories were making his friend scream in the middle of the night and keep him from sleeping.

Kurt hesitated. He looked down at the floor, trying to find the words. How could he summarize years of torment and fear? He closed his eyes. "Vhen I lived in Germany, mein parents had a hard time keeping me avay from other people. We lived in a large village, and I liked to explore." He swallowed. "Some people didn't understand me. Didn't like me. So, zey…" Again, he stopped. He sighed heavily. "I vas attacked a couple of times. Got into fights a lot and stuff. We eventually had to move, because people were threatening to hurt us. It was pretty much ze same thing in our new home," he added sadly. "Zat's vhat I keep dreaming about. Those memories zat I wish I could forget."

Evan didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "Damn," he drew it out into a long word. "I didn't know, dude," he said, meeting his friend's gaze. "I'm sorry."

Kurt shrugged. "Don't be. It is vhat it is, I guess."

"Yeah but, you never told anyone that. That's like, really terrible."

Kurt didn't have anything more to say, but Evan continued. "So, what brought this on, anyhow?" he asked.

Kurt sighed, frustrated. "I don't know," he said, rubbing one of his arms to comfort himself. "I just started feeling weird and self-conscious and zen I started having the bad nights…I have no idea vhere it came from."

Evan bit his lip. "But you do know you've been acting really…not-Kurt lately, right?"

"Yeah. I know." He looked down at his image inducer. "I don't know vhy, but I feel safe vith this on," he said, tugging at the watch. Then, suddenly, the thought came into his head. With his image inducer on, he was less vulnerable. He wasn't Kurt. He didn't feel pain or fear. It was a protection mechanism. Kurt sighed and removed the watch. Taking it off, he looked down at his hands. They changed from pale, five fingered hands to furry, blue, three fingered hands. He put his hands in his lap.

"Well, hullo," Evan said. He hadn't seen Kurt actually look like Kurt for a while. It was refreshing.

Kurt continued to stare at his hands. He felt insecure again, not quite comfortable in his own skin. It was a hard feeling to deal with.

"I see where you're comin' from," Evan pointed out. He could understand Kurt's insecurities. "But that watch is just a disguise, man. It's not gonna make you any less like _you_."

"I know," Kurt muttered. "It's hard to be myself sometimes," he added in a low whisper. Evan heard it anyway. He nodded understandingly, and patted Kurt on the back for comfort.

"We all struggle with that a little," he said.

Kurt shrugged. There was a long silence between them—they were both thinking. Then, Kurt hopped down off the back of the couch. "Danke, Evan," he said quietly. He looked down and walked toward the doorway. Evan watching him leave and shook his head uncertainly. He wasn't sure if their conversation had done any good or not. It seemed to open Kurt up, but he didn't know if talking actually improved the situation. He sure hoped it did.

oOo

That night, Evan approached Kurt, who was sitting on the floor near his bed, with a suggestion. Kurt looked up from his thinking.

"Hey, dude, I was thinking. About earlier," Evan began, crawling up to Kurt and sitting beside him at a comfortable distance.

Kurt glanced from Evan to the floor. "Oh?"

"Yeah, and I think I know what's got you feeling so weird lately."

Kurt looked up immediately, his eyes went instinctively wider. "Vhat?"

"Well, remember how we were talkin' one morning before school, and I asked you why you wore your image inducer to school?"

Kurt's eyes blanked out at the thought. "Uh, ja. I remember that conversation."

"Yeah. You seemed mad about it at the time, and you kinda gave me the cold shoulder after I mentioned it. I mean, maybe that's what started all this. You started wearing your watch around here like a day after that," he added. It all made sense to him. Kurt's focused gaze and slight sigh suggested it made sense to him, too.

"Maybe," Kurt allowed, shrugging cavalierly. "But how could that set me off?"

"I dunno. Did you ever go to school as a kid?"

"Nein. I vas homeschooled. My parents knew better."

"That's all I've got," Evan confessed. "It's just an idea."

"Ja."

The boys went to bed an hour later. Kurt stayed awake thinking. He knew Evan was right about the school thing. He'd never been to school as a child, but being shrouded away from the world had always made him feel like a freak. He'd felt awkward and unsure of himself, and when he'd ran into other people, they had done little to make him feel good about himself. For that reason, he'd never felt truly comfortable as _Kurt_. Before coming to the Institute, he'd never had positive feedback about his looks. People had always called him a freak. An animal. It was hard to ignore years of listening to that.

oOo

Despite a rocky start to the night, Kurt slept relatively peacefully and woke up feeling pretty good. He and Evan got ready for school, and went down to eat breakfast. Well, actually, Evan skipped breakfast to talk to Rouge. He needed to tell her about last night.

"Oh, wow," Rouge concluded when Evan told her what Kurt had told him. "Well, that's a problem we need tah deal with."

"Yeah, but what are we gonna do?"

"We've got tah get Kurt to feel better about himself. More confident," Rouge explained. "Ah don't know how tah do that, but…"

A light bulb went off in Evan's head. "Don't worry. I think I have an idea."

Evan approached Kurt after breakfast. Rouge was standing nearby for backup. "Hey Kurt," Evan said casually. Kurt smiled a little, and it made Evan feel good about going through his plan.

"Where were you?" Kurt asked.

"I wasn't hungry," he said, which wasn't entirely a lie. "Had some serious amounts of ice cream last night and I didn't want anything for breakfast, you know?"

Kurt nodded. "So listen," Evan went on. He looked Kurt in the eye to signal he was serious. "I had this idea for how to get you feeling better," he said, trying to get Kurt interested. Kurt gave him a quizzical look. "What if you _did_ go to school without your watch on?" Kurt blinked.

It took him a moment to process the statement. "Say vhat?"

"I mean, don't you think it would help you to see that you're not so different form everyone else? Go to school like you are now. See that you won't get teased any worse than the rest of us. C'mon," Evan urged.

"Yeah," Rouge chimed in from ten feet away. Kurt glanced in her direction. "Ah think Evan's got a good idea. What's the worse that can happen?"

Kurt's mind had little trouble thinking up 'the worst that could happen', but then he remembered that all mutants were protected under the law. He couldn't get physically thrashed in school. Part of him wanted to run far away and die, and he knew deep down that he should take the risk.

"I don't know," he said slowly, shaking his head.

"You can do it, man," Evan insisted.

"We've got your back," Rouge added.

Kurt looked between his sister and his friend. He sighed. "Ok. I'll do it."

oOo

**It's not over yet! Kurt still has to go to school all blue and fuzzy and we'll see how that works out. Anyway, please R&R. I'm so grateful for all the attention this story has been getting. Thank you, thank you my wonderful dedicated readers! *Hugs***

**-The Ember Raven**


	5. Chapter 5

**Haunted**

**A/N: Demonicpoet left a comment that made me change my mind about how to end this, and I'm very happy with it. Enjoy the last chapter, and thank you for all the amazing reviews. 31. Wow. That's so awesome. :)**

oOo

**Chapter 5:**

"Quit fretting, Kurt. You're drivin' me crazy." Rogue, Evan, and Kurt were walking to school together. Kurt was in between his friends, shaking and looking around nervously every time they passed someone. He was all too aware of his blue form, how different he looked from everyone else. It wasn't too bad to be seen in public, where no one was going to bother him, but he worried about school. He just didn't know what to expect.

"Kurt, honestly." Rogue put a hand on Kurt's arm. They met eyes. Kurt couldn't help but me jumpy, even in the face of his calm, composed sister. "You'll be fahne."

Kurt sighed. His shoulders dropped and he hunched forward. "Ja," he said, partly to please Rogue and partly to comfort himself. Despite the talks Rogue and Evan (and the Professor, who heard about the whole thing) had given him, his apprehension was growing. The anxiety was mounting. He tried to calm himself by breathing and thinking of other things—anything other than school.

"Just remember what I told you, man," Evan said. "Stay cool, don't let anything get to you, and stay away from the Brotherhood boys. They might try and start something."

Kurt rolled his eyes knowingly. "Thanks for ze heads up about zem. They're always 'starting things'." He gulped, remembering the first time he'd ran into Avalanche and the Blob. They'd shoved him in a locker and left him there for two hours until Kitty rescued him.

The three approached the school. Kurt looked up at the tall building, finding it large and intimidating. As they got closer, people started to stare more and more. Fear and anxiety crept into Kurt's mind. He wanted to run away and hide, but he knew he couldn't. When he felt a gentle pressure on his hand, he looked down to see Rogue squeezing his hand with hers. She smiled a tiny smile. Kurt relaxed a little.

He fell back behind Rogue and Evan a few feet, not wanting to be stared at. It was inevitable, however. Curious eyes found him from all sides. He looked down so he couldn't see anyone's face, but he could feel many pairs of eyes on him, and he could hear the incessant whispering of his peers. It was a constant struggle to hold down years of fear and bad experiences that told him he needed to leave. Every instinct in his body was screaming, _run_!

Rogue took his hand again, this time to keep him near her. Kurt welcomed it, finding it immensely humanizing and friendly. He shivered as they entered the building.

The hallways were packed with students. Many of them gasped and backed away when Rogue, Evan, and Kurt walked in. A few crazy kids shouted obscene remarks. Mostly, everyone stared rudely and whispered. Kurt was a tiny bit relieved. He'd expected to see kids running away screaming. It had happened to him before.

As he went on to his first class, he couldn't help but overhear some of the whispering. "Who's that?"

"What is that furry thing?"

"Oh my gosh, it has a tail!"

A few people pointed. "Is that Kurt?" he heard repeatedly. His heart dropped to his feet. There was no taking this back now…

Kurt was eternally thankful that he and Evan shared first period. Rogue slipped into the crowd so she could get to her first class. Kurt stuck with Evan. "I'm scared," Kurt whispered.

Evan wanted to say, "Yeah, I know. Me too," because honestly, he was getting some weird glances in his direction. Maybe no one would bother them together, but if they separated…Evan shook his head, remembering that it was his job to be supportive. He sighed and said, "You're doing fine." He nudged Kurt with his elbow for reassurance.

They entered their first class. The room was already half-full. Everyone stopped talking and stared, wide-eyed and curious. Kurt felt like he was being assaulted visually. It was hard for him to keep walking. He followed Evan to the back of the room, and they sat next to each other in two vacant seats. Everyone's gaze followed them. The teacher was staring too, his face a mix of confusion and disdain.

The professor had already called the school and told them what Kurt was doing, so the teacher knew the blue thing in the back of his class was a student. It didn't make it any easier to ignore the fact that there was a blue, furry _thing_ sitting in his class. He finally called class to order, and class began. Kurt relaxed a little when everyone stopped staring at him.

First period was slow and not entirely peaceful. A few students threw waded up sheets of notebook paper at Kurt when the teacher wasn't looking, and one student passed him a piece of paper with the words, **Go to hell, mutants**, written across the top.

Second period didn't go as smoothly. The teacher, a squat, beady eyed lady, refused to let Kurt into her class. So Kurt, along with Bobby, Rogue, and Sam, who all had the same class, left, since they weren't welcome.

At lunch, the X-students gathered together at their table to talk. Scott and Jean wanted to hear how the first two classes had gone.

"Not so great," Kurt mumbled. He didn't feel like eating, so he was sitting at the table with his arms crossed defensively. He glared at any students who gave him a funny look.

"It couldn't have been that bad," Scott said, trying to be positive.

"Mrs. Hardy wouldn't let him intah her class," Rogue reported, sounding rather pissed off.

Jean raised a red eyebrow. "Seriously? I thought teachers weren't allowed to do that to us. I mean, there are laws protecting us in schools. We can go to our classes whether the teachers like it or not."

Kurt sighed. "She refused to let 'any mutant scum take part in her class', as she put it."

"Well, ah left," Rogue added. "Ah wasn't gonna put up with her crap. If we mutants aren't welcome, we're leavin. Bobby an' Sam ditched too." Bobby and Sam nodded.

Jean facepalmed. "You guys can't do that. You should have gone to class anyway. I mean, she couldn't exactly make you leave."

Kurt rolled his eyes, frustrated. "I wouldn't have vanted to sit through an hour of her class. I mean, the students looked like zey were ready to kill us. Und if zey didn't do it, she would have."

Jean sighed. "Ok, fine. But no more ditching. Any of you." She glared at Kurt and Rogue in particular. They nodded.

After lunch, everyone dispersed and headed for their third class. Kurt ran to his locker to get a textbook. He stuffed it in his bookbag and went to third period. He didn't want to face two more classes of whispering and staring. Overall, his day had gone a lot better than he'd imagined, but it wasn't going great. He was getting stared at, pointed at, talked about, and pushed around. It wasn't fun. But it was tolerable. At least for now.

He sighed and looked down at his hands. For being blue and fuzzy, he wasn't being treated too badly. He'd been through worse. When he thought about it, school wasn't so bad. He'd lived through first and second period and lunch. He felt somewhat better about going to school but he had his fears. Maybe if he just kept going without his image inducer, he'd get over himself. He smiled a tiny bit.

Just then, he turned a corner and ran into a couple of jocks who were ditching class. He sighed and walked past them quickly, keeping his head down. "Hey, mutie!" one of them called. Kurt ignored them.

One of the jocks walked up behind Kurt and shoved him. "Are you ignoring me, blue boy?"

Kurt glared at the blonde jock. He was officially ticked off now. "Ja. I am. I don't vant to hear your insults. Leave me alone."

"Our insults?" another boy threw in, scoffing. "You and your mutie friends are an insult to this school. Why don't you all crawl back to your miserable hole where you came from and leave us alone?"

"This is ridiculous," Kurt groaned, rolling his eyes and walking away. The blonde jock grabbed him and shoved him up against the lockers with a loud slam.

"You're gonna pay for talking to us like that, freak," the boy snarled. Kurt, deciding it was time to fight rather than run away, kicked the boy clear in the gut. The other jocks took that as an excuse to start a fight.

The fight quickly turned in the jock's favor. There were three of them, and they each easily outweighed him by 100 pounds. And Kurt couldn't teleport—it was against school rules for mutants to use their powers. If he teleported, he'd get expelled. But getting pounded to a pulp was a rough alternative.

One of the jocks slammed his into the lockers and corkscrewed his arm until he screamed. Kurt tried to throw in some good kicks, but he was at an odd angle. He couldn't really fight when pressed up against a wall of metal. Just then, there was a sharp call.

"Boys!"

All three jocks turned their heads, just in time to see the principal storming towards them. She ripped two of the boys away from the wall and threw them clear across the width of the hall. The last jock scrambled to get away. The principal turned to Kurt, who sunk to his knees and groaned.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" the principal asked, her voice softening.

Kurt rubbed his shoulder and nodded. His fur was roughed up and he was bruised, but he was otherwise fine. What really hurt were the insults, the hatefulness of the boys.

Kurt looked up at the principal. "Vhy did you do zat?" he asked, unsure what to say. His mother was known for turning her head every time someone was getting harassed. She didn't usually intervene on fights unless it involved the Brotherhood boys of Scott.

Mystique pulled him to his feet. Her face was serious, angry, but her eyes were soft, kind. "I don't know," she admitted. Her demeanor shifted to principal-like and stern again. "Don't you have a class to be in?"

Kurt sighed and shrugged. "Yeah." He picked his bookbag up off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. He glanced at her once as he walked away. A tiny smile tugged at her lips.

"You've got some guts for coming here like you are," Mystique called after him. "Don't go back to wearing that watch."

Kurt didn't respond, but a small smile crept over his face. He usually didn't feel anything for his mother, but he felt strangely proud of her. She had spoken her mind to him—something he didn't think she'd ever done before. However, the good feeling in his chest didn't cover up the sickness he felt from being insulted and thrashed. It was a conflict of emotion. He hung his head, unsure of what to do. He was tired. He didn't want to go to another two classes. He hurt inside. So he headed for the front doors and teleported outside. From there, he went straight home and locked himself in his room.

oOo

"Kurt?" Rogue knocked on his door gently with one fist. She was about to open the door and left herself in when the door opened from the inside. Kurt stood in the doorway. His face was unreadable.

"You ok? Ah didn't see yah in Physics class. You ditch?"

Kurt nodded. "Ja," he sighed. "I know Jean told me not to. It was just…a long day, I guess."

"But you made it," Rogue pointed out. "At least, through the first part of it. But ah can see why you left. Scott heard that some boys b"—

"It's fine," Kurt interrupted. "I'm fine. Really." He looked into Rogue's eyes. He looked sad, confused.

"So, you're not going to school without your watch again, huh?" she concluded.

"I didn't say zat. I mean, school was rough. But it wasn't, uh, too bad. Und it would get better if I went more often looking like meinself, ja?"

Rogue shrugged. "Well, ah think you should go again. You're cover's blown anyhow. And who cares what those losers think?"

Kurt was surprised into a smile. "Yeah. Zat's true."

"Then you should do it."

"It would be weird if I didn't," Kurt agreed. "I'll go without the watch."

Rogue grinned and pulled him into a hug. "Ah'm so proud of you, little brothah."

Kurt smiled too. "Um, danke?"

Rogue tightened her grip and put her face next to his ear. "Ah just want you to do this cause you're comfortable bein' yourself. That's all that matters."

Kurt closed his eyes. "I'm working on it, ok?"

"Thanks."

oOo

For the next few weeks, Kurt worked on going to school without his watch. For the first couple of days, he was very tempted to put his watch back on. Some of the remarks and threats he got were extremely unpleasant. But as the days went by, fewer and fewer people commented on his blueness and left him alone. Students stopped staring at him constantly in class. The teachers grew more comfortable with him. And for the first time in a long time, Kurt felt comfortable as himself. He wasn't ashamed to be seen blue and furry. That was how he was, and how he would always be.

One night, he was lying in bed, thinking about his childhood. His bad memories had all but left him. The nightmares were gone. He felt at peace with himself. He closed his eyes and thought about what his mother had said. It was hard, but he had come to terms with himself. And he liked who he was, finally. It made him happier than anything else.

"_Lassen Sie sich nicht die Meinsung eines anderen fuhlen Sie sich unbedeutend oder gering, Kurt. Su bist schon. Haben nicht verbergen. Stolz sein, was du bist." (Don't let someone else's opinion make you feel insignificant or low, Kurt. You are beautiful. Don't hide it. Be proud of what you are.)_

Kurt smiled. "I am," he muttered, breaking into a full grin. Finally, he could say that and know he meant it.

*Fin*

oOo

**I knoooow! It's over. *Sniff* End. Sorry, guys. That's all. Hope you liked. Please review!**

**-The Ember Raven**


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